Now that cursed teams of Cleveland and the Chicago Cubs and some inept others are having good moments, the longest streaks of mediocrity or worse in professional team sports are slowly ending; and Detroit’s dismal performances descend steadily toward the nadir of professional sports futility.
Detroit’s most successful franchise — so much so that Motown is sometimes referred to as “Hockeytown” — is the Detroit Red Wings. One of the “Original Six” franchises of professional hockey in America (along with Boston, Chicago, Montreal, New York and Toronto), Detroit has tasted much success, although not recently, last winning the most recent of its eleven Stanley Cups in 2008, and missing altogether the National Hockey League post-season the past four seasons…..often displaced by teams in warm climates, where fans who may not know hockey was once played outdoors have been cheering as championship banners are raised in their plush air-conditioned arenas.
Detroit’s professional basketball franchise — the Pistons — returned last season from suburbia — from the Palace of Auburn Hills, where it was the primary tenant — to Detroit’s sparkling new Little Caesar’s Arena which was designed for ice hockey and specifically the owners’ beloved Red Wings. The franchise has had but one winning season since the 2007-08 campaign. During the National Basketball Association’s 70-year history, the Pistons have won just three championships, the last in 2004. When the Pistons won the NBA championship back-to-back in 1989 and 1990, the team was known as the “Bad Boys.” Now they’re just a bad team.
The Detroit Lions are reaching legendary status for losing. One of four National Football League teams to never win the Super Bowl…..whose last pre-Super Bowl era NFL championship was in 1957 (second-longest drought, behind the Arizona Cardinals)…..whose last post-season victory was in 1991…..the first team in modern times to go a full regular season without a victory (0 and 16 in 2008). The long-suffering Lions have a chance to become pro football’s sentimental favorite, although perhaps not like the Cubs once were for millions of Major League Baseball fans across America. The lovable Cubbies lacked talent, but they and their historic ballpark oozed charm. Not so with the Lions.
Which leaves the Detroit Tigers of Major League Baseball, who are having a dismal season…..again. The last time I saw a good performance at comfy Comerica Park, it was a Rolling Stones concert. As of this writing, the Tigers are 34 games out of first place in the Central Division of the American League. The Tigers already own the tenth worst season in MLB history…..the 2003 Tigers, who went 43 and 119, even worse than the 2002 Tigers who went 55 and 107. Both abysmal seasons could be better than this year’s finish. The Tigers were last World Series champs in 1984….and George Orwell predicted something unusual would happen that year.
Detroit’s four major professional sports teams play in modern state-of-the-art arenas near Detroit’s famous Fox Theatre — the Lions in enclosed Ford Field (finished in 2002), which is literally across the street from Comerica Park (2000); and both are a short walk to Little Caesars Arena (2017). While these modern arenas may be slowly rejuvenating the neighborhood, they haven’t yet done a darn thing for the success of their teams.
JER
ALL OVER THE MAP 