Gifting

For my wife’s birthday during our first year of marriage, I gave her a set of golf clubs and accessories. It was what I wanted for her, not what she wanted; and it is not among her favorites of all the gifts I’ve given to her over the years. In fact, that might be the gift she’s least valued…..and least used.

So it was with some hesitation that, for this year’s Christmas gift, I equipped my wife with a complete suite of snorkeling equipment…..mask, snorkel, boots and fins…..hoping they would be put to use in Hawaii now and in the Maldives early in the new year.

Over the years I’ve learned more about my wife and about gift giving, and I was more optimistic about the  snorkeling gear than the golf clubs. While my wife had never played golf, she has snorkeled many times…..for example, in Belize, the Galápagos Islands and especially French Polynesia where she had her best-ever experience at this time of year in 2015.

But it turns out the roiling swells of the Pacific Ocean surrounding the Hawaiian Islands in December are too nippy to make snorkeling a pleasure for my pint-sized and poorly insulated wife. She loved December snorkeling in the flat waters of French Polynesia, but that part of the Pacific lies 2700 miles south of the Hawaiian chain, and the water is much calmer and warmer…..actually, much like bath water.

So, once again, giving my wife a gift I wanted her to have more than she wanted to have it, hasn’t worked out well. I really should have known better.

At this stage of life, when we are trying to discard, donate or recycle two items for every one item we acquire, we do not get very excited about material gifts. Photographs of precious people or places never disappoint, and bottles of New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc wine are always welcomed; but otherwise, the gifts we are more apt to give each other, and appreciate from one another, are moments.

And memories take up little very space in the basement, attic and garage.

JER